Monday, September 23, 2013

Diabolik Lovers Episode 2 - Night School and Epic Douchiness

Oh, there's a theme song!
So the show starts off with the heroine waking up to find that she has not been mauled or raped. Suddenly, the Fedora is on her bed, and is proceeding to crawl towards her (due to apparent "seduction") to commit unspeakable acts, but then Ayato comes along....aannd attempt to do the same thing.

But, never fear, Mr.Glasses is here! And he comes bearing news of the heroine's new educational facility! Yes, that's right, school! Night school, to be exact.
That's right ladies, with 100% Cranberry Juice, you too can become a rapist vampire magnet
On their way, after a typical confrontation of the lack of breasts with Ayato, heroine is given cranberry juice by Glasses. She thanks him, but he tells her not to. He tells her that she needs to become aware of her position as their "prey", and to drink that stuff everyday. So, to sum it all up, this shit makes her taste better to them. 

Then the Emo Shota mumbles about human fear with that same creepy look on his face that he always has.
That's a damn nice school
So upon arriving, Glasses man tells the heroine that she's in the same class as Ayato and Emo Shota (RUN BITCH, RUN) and that unless she wants a whipping (exact words) not to try anything reckless. 

So her first class is home economics, which is apparently not interesting enough for Ayato. Ayato kidnaps (?) her and takes her to some random kitchen, where she must cook him takoyaki. After a short planning session (she makes takoyaki, he eats them, they don't go to class), Ayato eats the takoyaki. He is pleased with the results. He and the chick eat the takoyaki. Then later as she's doing dishes, she demands assistance, which results in this happening:
It may look like he's giving her a hickey, but he's really sucking her blood
After the first dose, the guy loves it (the blood). It's uber sweet, so he sucks more blood, ignoring her requests to stop. She yanks away, but her tears and pained facial expression really "do it" for him. So he lays her down (???) and sucks more of her blood, and she faints. Then Glasses walks in (what timing!). He comments what a disgrace Ayato is and how he never would have though he would do this at school (I guess assaulting people is only normal at home). Glasses tells Ayato to be responsible and make sure Heroine gets home.

Later, Heroine wakes up nearby a pool (???) and Ayato is there. She panics, tells him to stay back, and then asks him why he's doing what he's doing. He comments that she still doesn't have it through her head yet (something like that) and he picks her up.
Not sure if psychopath, or just the biggest asshole alive
He tells her that she's at his mercy, and to stop "quibbling" (college vocabulary) over every little thing he does. Then he throws her into the aforementioned pool (LOL), and demands she tell him he's the best (LOL), better than anyone else, and that she belongs to him. 

Problem: Heroine can't swim.

As she's drowning, Ayato has a flashback (THIS IS NO TIME FOR FLASHBACKS, THE BITCH IS DROWNING). It's of him drowning and reaching for his mother (?), who just sits and watches. Then, as Heroine is sinking to her watery doom, Ayato decides to save her, and then this happens:
Did I miss something? What made this happen?
Nothing makes sense anymore (well, I don't think it made any sense in the first place).
Mmmm...iron and chlorine...a taste only dreams are made of
He then starts sucking her blood (she's half dead and you're sucking her blood out? Nice, real nice) while still underwater. They then emerge.
He looks absolutely insane
He then states how her (Heroine's of course) blood is flowing through his body, and that it is totally overwhelming him with a crazed expression on his face. Heroine mumbles something along the lines of "make it stop", so Ayato says that they're done for the day (expect more of the same tomorrow!). He gets her out of the pool, and places a towel on her head and leaves (perhaps the nicest thing he's done throughout the show so far). Heroine gets a shy expression on her face (this is the moment where she thinks that deep down, he's a really nice guy) as he leaves. 
He looks absolutely fascinating
Then at the end, we see this guy epicly gazing off into the distance.
Who is he? Well, I guess we'll find out next week!

Episode rating 5/10 was slightly incredible at its peak of stupidity in this episode.


  1. "Did I miss something? What made this happen?"

    After drowning her, I assume he's transferring some air into her lungs, not kissing passionately. Wouldn't do to let her escape by death.

    1. He transfers his stale air into her whilst underwater instead of bringing her back up to the surface ASAP so she will get some proper oxygen instead of a lungful of H2O when her breathing starts up again. Yeah, that makes a LOT of sense.