Thursday, September 19, 2013

Diabolik Lovers Episode 1 - House of Creeps

You probably saw this one coming.
That's an ornate looking chandelier they have there
So this chick moves into this mansion, right? And it turns out, she finds a dead person there, right? BUT, it turns out the dead guy isn't really dead!
Are you following this?
This is all happening so fast
So, pushes her onto the couch, and starts licking her neck, and starts motioning to bite it. When suddenly--
Well, then your father really sucks
His onii-chan (who wears glasses) shows up! The girl tells the onii-chan that her dad sent her to live there, but the guy knows nothing about this, and neither does the one that was just licking her. The one that was licking her also takes a second to insult her breast size (because that's new and different), the chick was totally O-fended.

The brother wonders why he knows nothing about this, and as the girl tries to ask him another question, he tells her that they should talk in another room. A mysterious old butler comes and takes care of her luggage.
That doesn't necessarily mean you can just go and lick her
  As the chick tries to explain her situation, two new brothers appear. The first, a guy wearing what looks like a fedora. He calls the girl "Bitch-chan". The next a really creepy looking guy that dresses like an emo five year old. They both lick her, but the glasses brother tells them that they're being impolite (who would want to be licked by a guy they just met?!?). The fedora wearing guy comments that anyone would want to taste something that looks yummy. The creepy one agrees.

The one that licked her first (Ayato) calls dibs on the chick, then someone comments how they hate how he (Ayato) addresses himself. This turns out to be yet another brother!
That's a question?
This guy who seems to be pissed off at anything and everything for absolutely no reason! The girl asks him how he got in but...
WHO'S GONNA PAY FOR THAT???
He got a little testy and broke the wall. Oops. 

The girl says that she thinks this must be some kind of misunderstanding, and attempts to leave. The glasses brother says that he's trying to find the truth behind this, and that it would be impolite of her to leave (I think it would be rude not let her leave at this point).

Then a guy asks whether she's "the woman he mentioned."
Yeah, that would be nice
This turns out to be yet another brother, a space case who has the info on the whole situation. Turns out, the girly was sent by the church (apparently as a prospective bride) and the guy also adds that they shouldn't kill her. Mr.Fedora comments that they're gonna have a verrrry long relationship with her (if you catch my drift). 

Glasses introduces all of the brothers, but the girl is still in disbelief. She needs to contact her father, BUT, Ayato has her phone. As he holds it away, Mr.Wonderful grabs it , and breaks it.
That's gonna be a little difficult since you JUST BROKE HER PHONE.
The Fedora and tells her that she won't need her phone anyway, since they're gonna be such great friends (if you know what I mean). And the Emo Shota comments that he's feeling sort of "pekkish." Fedora says she smells delicious, and motions to bite her, but she runs away, and falls. 

She scrapes her knee, and it is bleeding (shit just got real).
Their eyes begin to glow, only then does she realize that their vampires (I guess the fangs and their attempts to bite her just weren't enough to get her to notice).
She holds her cross up to them.
No effect.
She runs.

As she runs, she passes tables full of sweets, and then this guy:
He's so f*cking creepy
None of the phones work, the taunts of the Fedora echo the halls, and suddenly he's behind her. She continues to run. She finds the door, but it does not budge. Ayato appears behind her, and tells her it's time for her to scream as he inches closer. She pushes him away, and continues to run. His laughs can be heard from behind.

She finally finds a room to hide in, a lock and chains lying broken on the floor below the door (not even a bit suspicious, no sir). On a dresser in the room, jewelry, and tons of it. The girl looks out the window, and sees a woman in a dress. She begins to turn around, but the girl's (the heroine, to be exact) heart starts thumping painfully. She falls back, and looks at the window again. No one is there.
She notices a book with a photo of herself as an infant and a priest. The book turns out to be her father's. In it, the fact that her father is not her real father (PLOT TWIST)! Suddenly, the brothers surround her, and all hell breaks loose.

Turns out, that was supposed to be a secret! And that room was supposed to be locked!
She's stuck here! Forever!
After getting confronted by the brothers, a look of fear grows in her eyes. This causes Ayato to assault her, Fedora and Emo Shota wanting to join in. Meanwhile, Glasses and Mr.Wonderful pretty much tell her that she can't escape, if she runs, she dies. Space Cadet knocks down a picture and breaks the frame, which momentarily halts Ayato, Fedora, and Emo Shota. Ayato continues a second later.

So, the episode ends with her about to be raped (?) by Ayato, and her begging God for help.


Episode rating 4/10. Brothers Conflict was so bad it was good...this show is so bad...it's bad. And it's way too fast paced (all of this happened in less than 15 minutes). Still the show's episodes are only half the length of a normal series, so I guess it'll be tolerable.

My guess is that if she ends up with any one person, it'll be Ayato, since he was the first dude she met in the house. That's a rule of thumb in shoujo series.

Something:

Thanks roflbot for putting your label there

2 comments:

  1. Hm, if I remember right, I'm pretty sure the emo shota is ALSO voiced by Yuki Kaiji. Wonder which one is worse...

    And Space Cadet is Kosuke Toriumi, who was Azusa. Huh, only two Brothers Conflict characters voicing again as characters in another show about brothers. ...yay?

    Ah well, whatever.

    Lurker is out!

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    Replies
    1. Come back! XD
      Yuki Kaji was, at least in my opinion, worse as Wataru, especially considering the age he's supposed to be (10-11 years old). Having a male VA for a boy that age is just..no.
      I hate it when male VAs voice shotas. That pretty much ruins shotas for me.
      Kosuke Toriumi is cool, though. I'm actually surprised they got another one of the VAs from Brothers Conflict in there (especially considering how bad this show is XD)

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